Villains in Training (with Linda L. Donahue)
After six books and seven movies, we know where good wizards
go to learn their craft. But what about the bad guys? They attend the
prestigious University of Dark Arts and Arcane Sciences, where they enjoy such
classes as Escaping From Angry Mobs, Monster Husbandry and Vivisection.
But when Dex, a student mad scientist, and Drake, an evil
sorcerer in training, arrive at the university for their junior year, they
discover that the Transdimensional Supreme Court has ordered the university to
integrate–i.e. it must establish a college for heroes and superheroes.
Determined to drive the nosy do-gooders from their campus,
Dex and Drake instigate a series of vicious pranks. “Cooperation” isn’t a
recommended course for villains, though, so their ventures don’t turn out quite
as planned. Meanwhile, a determined villain has hatched a plot that only Dex and
Drake can stop. But how can they work together when cooperation isn’t in their
evil natures? As usual, the devil is in the details…
Jhett, a young healer with a deadly past, the goddess Leshan’s temple
is a prison that she’s promised, on pain of death, never to leave. But
when her actions endanger her former lover, Tarik, Jhett embarks on a
perilous journey across the southern desert to save him. Pursued by
assassins and warrior-priests, she learns the stakes are much higher
than Tarik’s life. Leshan and the dark goddess, Selure, have sent their
dragons to battle each other, and Jhett’s choices will determine the
outcome–and the fate of her people.
Gateway to Corimar (with Linda L. Donahue)
Trapped in a world of magic and monsters!
While playing with a book of spells, Skyla, Theo, Jackie,
Alyssa and Marcus accidentally transport themselves to the magical world of Corimar.
The locals consider them adults, which sounds exciting until they realize they must pay for food and shelter with
hard labor. Too bad Skyla and her friends are all prone to the usual—and some unusual—problems and misjudgments of
youth. Skyla, who is bipolar and without meds, must fight the erratic behavior
spawned by her mood swings. Aspiring
country singer Alyssa discovers she has uncontrolled bardic magic, which she
must harness or the Bards Guild will sever her vocal cords. Theo’s rigid honesty leads him to make a
bargain with the elves that may strand his friends in Corimar forever.
When the five seek the help of a local wizard, he dispatches
them on a cross-country journey to collect items needed to send them home. During
their travels, the group learns that something sinister is bringing chaos and evil to Corimar. They encounter bat-like creatures
that carry people off, killer mermaids and vicious weretigers, as well as
pixies and unicorns. Drawn into the intrigues of the mysterious Mordian, they discover their special
talents could be the key to restoring balance to a world spinning out of
The Four Redheads: The Wrath of Satan
(with Linda L. Donahue, Rhonda Eudaly and Dusty Rainbolt)
From the Desk of Satan:
Re: The Four Redheads
TEN years I’ve had to put up with these bit—girls doing crap jobs at
being horsewomen and being a giant pain in my as—everything. (Lynn says
I can’t cuss in official memos. Screw that!) But it ENDS NOW! I’ve had
enough of their fancy dresses, their incompetence, and just them. Don’t
even get me started on all that PINK! I’ve had it with the loopholes to
get rid of their jobs that they constantly FAIL at achieving. Like this
new one—if they can con a blood relative into taking their jobs, they
can retire--with PENSIONS, no less! Like I’d want anyone from
their bloodlines. And the thought of them happily retired makes me want
to blow up something--or someone.
Well, I’ve found my own loophole! Out of the goodness of
my heart, I’m giving those bimbos vacation on Earth. That’s right.
They’ll be mortal again and able to enjoy their vacation. So what if
that also happens to leave them vulnerable to being sent to oblivion?
You shi—gentlemen have ONE shot to Make Hell Great Again!
Bring me their four red heads on a platter, and I’ll reward you. Fail
and you’ll find out what “the bowels of Hell” really means. Got it?
Good. Now get moving!!!
Little Brown has finally issued The Mammoth Book of Comic Fantasy II in ebook format. It contains my story, "A Slow Day In Hell," as
well as stories by Esther Friesner, Neil Gaiman, Harry Harrison, Harlan
Ellison, L Sprague de Camp and many other terrific writers.
Chicks and Balances
The latest in the Chicks in Chainmail
series from Esther Friesner and John Helfers. My story "A Warrior Looks at 40"
chronicles an aging female mercenary's quest to regain her youthful
looks and perky breasts. I finally found a story for the opening
line I've had for ten years: "I was losing faith in the power of
Redheads in Love:
Four Redheads have found a new level of fine print in the contract that
saddled them with their dead husbands' jobs as The Four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse. If they can find men who are acceptable to God and
Satan, and who are willing to marry them, those men will become the
Horsemen and the Redheads are free of their burdens. Men beware!
The Redheads are on the prowl.
Also available at Amazon Kindle.
The Anthology From Hell: Humorous Tales From WAY Down Under
Featuring stories from Mike Resnick, Spider Robinson,
Lawrence Watt Evans, Robert Sheckley, Esther Friesner, Selina Rosen,
John Moore and many others. And with awesome cover art by Hugo Award
winner Brad Foster! Check out the Table of Contents! Also available at Amazon Kindle.
Fangs for the Mammaries,
edited by Esther Friesner and published by Baen Books. The anthology contains humorous stories
about vampires in suburbia, including my story "Soccer Mom
Smackdown." Sing the Battle Hamster Fight Song! You can also buy this anthology in most ebook formats at Baenebooks.com.
The Four Redheads: Apocalypse Now!,
by myself, Linda L. Donahue, Rhonda Eudaly and Dusty Rainbolt.
The Redheads have a stunning realization: once
the Apocalypse is finished, there'll be no need for horsemen and
they'll be free of the jobs they loathe. Now highly motivated, and
armed with the prophecies of Antoinette of Arc (Joan's smarter sister,
who never told anyone she had visions of the Apocalypse), the Redheads
carry out their secret plan to bring on the End Times. And, since no
one takes them seriously, they just might succeed! Now available as an ebook at Baenebooks.com, alone or bundled with The Four Redheads of the Apocalypse and Tracy Morris's Tranquility
Bride of Tranquility. Also at Amazon Kindle.
Back Cover Copy: From the Desk of SATAN:
freakin' Redheads are at it again! They're gonna be the death of
me--oh, how I wish! As if Earth wasn't already going to Hell, those
girly-girls have decided to hurry along the Apocalypse. Well,
excuuuse me if things aren't happening fast enough to please those high-
maintenance broads! At times like these, I really miss their
House of Doors.
When fifteen-year-old Evan Flynn goes to live at his Aunt Kate's
Kansas farm, he thinks he's headed to the most boring place on Earth.
But Kate's house has spawned a corridor of doorways to hostile alien
dimensions. On learning of an impending invasion, Evan enlists the help
of Maggie, a young medicine woman, who puts him on a vision quest to
seek a way to seal the doors forever and save the world.
House of Doors is part of Yard Dog's "Double Dog" series. A Double Dog is two short
novels in one "flip" book, like the old Ace Doubles. My novel is paired with Linda L. Donahue's Jaguar Moon. Also at Amazon Kindle .
Jaguar Moon (By Linda L. Donahue - the other half of Double Dog #5) For
Simone Perkins ghost hunting isn’t a hobby but a poor paying job.
And this job starts out trickier than most with trying to roust the
mouthy ghost of a witch. Matters escalate when Simone’s partner,
Araceli, is kidnapped by a monster. In order to rescue her, Simone
embarks on a journey to the Land of the Dead and teams up with a
traveling monster hunter. Their adventure takes them across the globe
to a place where time was lost. Also at Amazon Kindle.
A Bubba in Time Saves None, edited by Selina Rosen, published by Yard Dog Press.
The anthology is the fifth in the Bubbas of the Apocalypse anthology
series, dealing with a time wave that scatters bubbas and yumbies
(yuppie zombies) all through time. It contains my story "Godziller vs.
the Fifty Foot Sumo Yumbie," which continues the adventures of my
characters in "Space Cowboys" (from Houston, We've Got Bubbas). Now available at Amazon Kindle.
Witch Way to the Mall,
edited by Esther Friesner (Baen Books), which includes my short story
"Valley Witch," a collection of humorous stories about witches in
suburbia, is available in most ebook formats at Baenebooks.com.
ALSO IN PRINT:
Dracula's Lawyer and Other Stories:
a collection of three humorous fantasy stories in chapbook form.
In "Redneck Wizard," a hillbilly teen transported to a
medieval fantasy world must battle an ornery fire-snortin' dragon.
In "Worse," a snooty elf must find a way to escape betrothal to a
spoiled human princess. And in "Dracula's Lawyer," the famous
vamp files a disability discrimination lawsuit against the City of New
Orleans for its failure to accommodate his inability to work during
daylight hours. Also available at Amazon Kindle.
The Four Redheads of the Apocalypse,
written by myself, Linda L. Donahue, Rhonda Eudaly and Dusty Rainbolt:
Death, War, Famine and Plague have died. Now their wives
are taking over. Too bad they don't have a clue how to do their
new jobs. Look out, world! Here come the Four Redheads of
the Apocalypse. Also available in most ebook formats at Baenebooks.com, alone or bundled with The Four Redheads: Apocalypse Now! and Tracy Morris's Tranquility and Bride of Tranquility. Also at Amazon Kindle.
International House of Bubbas is the third in the Bubbas of the Apocalypse anthologies edited by Selina Rosen. When
the "Yuppie 25" virus wipes out or "zombifies" everyone in the
world except "bubbas", things take on several interesting twists. Read
about good ole boys fighting yuppie zombies, aliens, and those French
cheeses that end in that funny "è" -- among things too awful to mention
In this installment, we learn what happened to bubbas who
were outside the U.S. when the plague hit. In my story, "Bubba's
A Broad," two bubbas are abducted by aliens, then dumped in France.
It doesn't get much lower than that. Also available at Amazon Kindle.
Houston, We've Got Bubbas is the fourth in the Bubbas of the Apocalypse anthologies
edited by Selina Rosen. This installment involves space travel,
aliens and the like. My story "Space Cowboys" tells what happens
to a bunch of maintenance workers stranded on a space station after the
"Yuppie 25" virus hits. Also available at Amazon Kindle.
Flush Fiction, Volume 1: Stories to Be Read in One Sitting,
edited by Selina Rosen, is an anthology of flash fiction, some
humorous, some serious, all for a worthy cause. 75% of the
proceeds go to an emergency medical fund for Yard Dog writers in need.
My story "Star Quality" is my one and only attempt at flash
fiction. Also at Amazon Kindle.
My stories have also appeared in The Mammoth Book of Comic Fantasy II (published in the UK as The Mammoth Book of Seriously Comic Fantasy, in the Czech Republic as Druha Mamuti Kniha Humoristicke Fantasy 2, in Polish and in Russian as something I can't even type), The Best of the Bubbas, Marion Zimmer Bradley's Fantasy Magazine and Adventures of Sword and Sorcery (see my free sample).